Big Girls Choose

A month has swept by as if it were only a week. My holiday break with my family in Texas drew to an end as my dad and I waited in line for my boarding pass.

“Next”

We walk up to the counter and my dad places my heaviest luggage item on the scale.

“47.4 lbs”

“Yes!!”

I exclaim in excitement for no weight fees. See, I had just packed a nutriblaster, 3 picture, 3books, 3 pairs of shoes, a hefty backpack, and a month’s worth of close in two bags. One of those books was a not so light Bible, too. A personal record for me. The lady at the counter however, did not know about this incredible feat and looked at me questioningly. My dad laughed, but soon we realized that her facial expression now looked worried. Worry is not acceptable when it comes to airplanes, but soon enough the news was broke to us that plane delays have been epidemic and my plane had been diseased. I would not make my connecting flight, but I had the option to wait until Sunday to fly out or fly to Baltimore and risk the weather. The flight attendants seemed hopeful that I could make my flight to Baltimore and been in Greenville by 9pm, but there is the chance that I could be delayed and have to stay in Baltimore.

                I could see the worry in my dad’s face. He clearly wanted me to stay the weekend and fly out Sunday, but I had prior commitments. I am scheduled to drive to Auburn and be reunited with friends that I will not be seeing for too long and if I miss this opportunity then I may not be able to obtain it again. Hopeful I would choose his way, my dad turned wearily towards me and said that the choice was mine. I had the option because I was a big girl, but if my plane is delayed then I will have to get the hotel. I asked him what he wanted me to do, but he stood firm in letting me make the choice. Anxiously, I wished he would take this one and just make the decision for me, but that is not what happened.

I am the type of person who searches for the best option and the one that will satisfy everyone, if possible, but as life reminds us this cannot happen all the time, I had to make the choice. I had the choice to travel, take the risk, and ultimately see my friends or fly out Sunday, stay with my family, and not see my friends.

Goodness.

Frazzled and stressed about disappointing both sides, I made the decision to take my chances and fly. If I made it, I got to travel to a new city and I happily received time with my well missed friends with only the repercussions of arriving home late. If I did not make it, then I lost extra time with my family and I had to be alone in a strange city.

In the moment after my decision, I pondered this airport scene. How many times in life do we make decisions based on other people’s fears? We are not scared, but their fearful actions cause us to rethink our decisions or their anxiety affects our choices, simply because we do not want to increase their nervousness. How many times do you believe this method of decision making causes us to miss out on opportunities?

On another note, I also imagined this is how it must look when we are asking God about certain choices or guidance in our lives. Some people have the belief that God is a dictator and controls our every move or some people wish God would just make all of the decisions for us. We would be resentful if God was like “I’m not letting you do this because that’s stupid and I don’t like the idea. Clearly, my way is better”, but in the same light we become frustrated if God says “I think you got this.” We respond with frustration and long for him to just choose so it will be easier for us, but I believe God is not controlling or vindictive. Like my earthly father did, God looks at us with full confidence and says “You’re a big girl! I am going to guide you, but ultimately the choice is yours.” God probably is sitting up there thinking about how he longs for us to not make a certain decision, but he gives us the choice. He does not force, but guides.

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